At Least I Still Love You
by Bookworm579
Summary: I realized how much I loved it all, how much I loved you, just in time to lose it..." Just a quick little oneshot from Midna's POV describing her change throughout her journey with Link in Twilight Princess.


How I loathed every aspect of your pathetic kingdom.

Every tree, mountain, lake, inhabitant. Everything was so false. So fragile and ugly and dull.

So _weak_.

I didn't shed a tear when I saw what he'd turned me into. I was above that. I wouldn't sit in my tower, defeated, weeping over my ruined kingdom. I wouldn't be Zelda.

Don't get me wrong, I had a great deal of respect for her. Running a kingdom practically by herself at seventeen. Her advisors were all incompetent, her guard was ill-trained…come to think of it, no wonder she'd surrendered to Zant. She'd always come through before, but admitting defeat before he'd even struck…

And you.

You couldn't have been a bigger disappointment. A wounded puppy whose alter ego was a sheltered farmboy? I sneered at your pathetic attempts to get out of that jail cell; it was only luck and some prompting that got you out of there. I remember jumping onto your back the first time, exercising my sheer dominion over you. Such a simple little Hylian you were. How I would have loved to keep you as a pet back home after driving out Zant.

I remembered the way you looked at me, how your eyes widened so very slightly, a millisecond of shock and disgust at my flabby, naked, impish form. It didn't hurt till later, after I'd seen you heal the spirits Faron, Eldin, and Lanayru, after I'd watched you viciously scrape through each temple as though this was the only life you'd known. It didn't hurt till I started to care.

I _hated _your world, so why did I help you save it? The only beauty I could possibly behold was in Twilight, yet I felt happy whenever I saw a part of your land cleansed. I got attached I guess. To your world, your people, you.

You.

I remember straddling your back one day, how I noticed for the first time your thick fur rubbing against my inner thighs. It was a little stiff, but soft. I liked it.

I remember going to sleep that night and looking over at you. Sleeping without complaint on the hard dirt. A natural-born hero.

I thought you looked…pleasing. In my Twili form I would be about your height, I remember thinking. I closed my eyes and pictured myself the way I should look. Tall, lean, with pale silvery-lavender and midnight black skin. Almost luminous orange hair. Large, slanted yellow and crimson eyes. Elegant violet lips.

Those violet lips pressed to his fleshy pink.

I hovered over him on my hands and knees, a slender hand moving gently along his jaw. His compact, muscular body sprawled beneath mine, void of weaponry or unnecessary clothing. My hands held against his chest. My tongue reached between his lips. My supple abdomen pressed against his firm.

The lustful thoughts of a shadow in a world of light.

I grew sadder and sadder as we grew closer to the end of our journey. I knew of your life back in the Ordona Province, knew of your friends and family. Of _Ilia._

I do not regret sacrificing myself for you—for surely you know it was for you and your home that I adorned myself with the fused shadows, the dark magic of my ancestors that had gotten us exiled. I would have told you to hurry, had I been able to speak.

Thank you for killing Ganondorf.

Thank you for killing Ganon.

Thank you for killing Zant.

I wouldn't have been able to do it by myself. Strong as I may be, it was only the Hero of Time who could mend such a tear in the fabric that was our peace.

Surely you know I had to leave, however.

I couldn't possibly leave the mirror intact, you know that. I had to ignore those spikes of jealousy upon seeing you and Zelda together. Standing together, fighting together, winning together. But I owed you guys one for the way I'd treated you, so I supposed getting you into the castle was the least I could do.

Oh, but I wish I didn't have to leave.

Seeing you so sullen, I want to cry, something I haven't done since I was a child. I want to tell you how strong you were and how wrong I was about you, about everything. I want to tell you how much you've changed me for the better and how I'll take everything I've learned and put it to use in ruling my own kingdom.

But I can't.

This parting is poignant enough, and I can't bring myself to spoil it with my own selfish words.

"Link…"

_I love you._

"…I…"

_I love you._

I adore you. I admire you. I worship you. I envy you. I'm fascinated by you.

_I love you._

Words I cannot possibly say. Words that'll only ruin this moment with questions and sorrow that'll remain forever unfulfilled. They'll only curdle and fester in our minds, sickly sweet phrases that'll rot with age and turn to poison. I can't bring myself to do that to you, to myself.

I'll miss you.

So very much.

You're looking at me funny. I have to say something now.

_I love you._

"See you later."

A tear spills. I put my magic to good use and hurl it into the mirror. They gasp.

_My friends_ gasp.

I climb the steps. There'll be others. Suitors for miles, ladies-in-waiting for miles. I'm a princess. They have to love me.

_I still love you._

"I still love you." My final words in this world, too low for human ears.

The last thing I see is his face, and I smile. Remember me like this. Not as an imp. Not as a monster. Not as a princess.

Remember me as a friend.

_I don't understand how, but I fell in love with a Hylian. His name was Link and he came from this awful world. I hated it and everything else, but as I saw how hard he fought for his home I saw the strength of Hyrule and my faith was restored. But I loved him you know. I loved him. So much…_

The ones at home will call me stupid. These are the best friends I'll ever have.

I'm sad to be leaving, but I have to. I have a home, a kingdom, and subjects and friends and other Twili who desperately need me. So, while I may never be this happy again, at least I'll know it was because of you. At least I'll know I love someone.

At least I still love you.


End file.
